Day 23 - Somebody Help Me

Mood: Discouraged

Today is Thursday, June 23, 2011. I skipped bootcamp again yesterday and today. I don't have any excuses. I failed at getting enough sleep, and sacrificed my workouts in order to stay awake at work. I also failed at keeping healthy foods in my kitchen. I haven't cooked in almost a week. I haven't been tracking my calories, or eating as much or as often as I should. 

I have almost completely fallen off the wagon.

I'm feeling pretty bad about myself lately. I've also been under some stress, which I think came at a pretty bad time, as it often does in life. Now that my focus is less on stress and more on how to repair my broken diet/exercise routine, I am looking forward to getting back to the structure I was beginning to love.

As my lovely boyfriendguy said to me recently: It's tough to make a lifestyle change, but it pays off in the long run.

I have to remember this. It is tough. Nothing about it is easy. But doing things the easy way is the reason I'm unhappy with my health to begin with. I've got to get motivated again. I've got to reclaim that enthusiasm I had a few short weeks ago. I've got to clear out a lot more time for myself in order to stay devoted to my goals.

This scares me.

I don't like sacrificing. This year I've been clinging onto trying to keep things interesting, socially. I've been making more efforts to reach out to friends & grow a good support system. Now, my obligations to my friends (and boyfriend) are crowding my schedule in a way that prevents me to fully commit to this health overhaul. Now I see why, in a way, it's good that contestants on shows like The Biggest Loser get to take a break from every day life in order to commit 100% of their time & attention on getting healthy. Trying to do it when your job, love life, social calendar, & hobbies get in the way is like trying to win a foot race with weights tied around your ankles.

I have to learn to lighten the load.

My goal over the next few days will be to brainstorm ways to create more structure and eliminate the clutter. Maybe this means only scheduling social activities on the weekend, or only on Saturday. Maybe this means devoting one day to grocery shopping & preparing/cooking meals so that the rest of my week all I have to do is pack my lunch & go. I'll think about some of these things & create a list of things to implement.

Until next time, please reach out & let me know if you're reading this. Leave a comment below, or post something on my Facebook wall, or email me at bizzmiss@gmail.com, or text or call. Just please get in touch with me to offer some encouragement. I really need it right now.

Thanks for reading. <3

Oh yeah, and here's a pic is of my gross-looking scars from doing plank holds on the hurty carpet at bootcamp last week. It feels all scaley like a snake!