Today is Monday, June 13, 2011. This weekend was wonderful & difficult at the same time. We had a big backyard BBQ for Nate's birthday, with lots of friends, family, & food. Needless to say, I was worried about undoing all the recent progress I've made. There was going to be delicious treats everywhere I turned. Would I be able to resist? Would I be able to adhere to my new portion standards? Would I give in to the empty calories of booze & cake? I tried to assure myself that a little taste of this & that & the other stuff wouldn't totally ruin me, but the honest truth is that I wasn't confident in myself at all.
Most of the day I spent running around prepping for the party, and when people started showing up & it was time to relax, mingle, and nourish myself with some BBQ, I couldn't bring myself to eat! I simply didn't have an appetite. Maybe I was just anxious from making sure, as a hostess, that everyone else was taken care of before I worried about myself. The most substantial thing I ate all day was a burned hot dog, on a bun, with ketchup, mustard, & relish.
I could have done worse. Next time, I'll do better.
I'm forgiving myself for the lack of structure that day. I'm forgiving myself for letting all the rules & regulations fly out the window because I'm still new at this. One day I'll be able to feel totally in control in these types of situations, but for now, I'm ok with my errors because they weren't errors of excess. If I had gone completely off the deep end & ate myself into a coma, I'd probably be a little less forgiving toward myself. Instead I can be proud that I didn't bloat myself with beer or over-carb myself with my favorite pasta salad.
Sunday wasn't a win either, but thanks to my amazing & supportive boyfriendguy, I was able to give much more thought to my food choices & successfully avert another carb-crisis.
Looking forward while keeping this weekend in mind, I'm back to the grind. Back to giving my all to having a well-balanced week of productivity + progress. Although it was really tough to get to boot camp this morning (I think I yawned the whole way there), it felt good to work up a sweat again & know that for every two steps back I have the ability to learn from my mistakes & take a few leaps forward in the right direction.
As promised, a before picture of one of my target areas: the midsection!
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